Kindergarten Teacher

Today was my first day of starting my kindergarten class. I'm very excited to be working with 15 fun and energetic 5 year olds! I stayed until 7 o'clock today to gut out the classroom and make it my own! :) I'm sure you will be hearing lots of funny stories regarding my job.... stayed tuned.

Time to Think.

Lately, my mind has been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting. I don't know if this is due to the fact that I am no longer surrounded by 6 of my best friends. Living in Homer was an amazing experience, but living with 6 of your closest didn't leave much time for reflection. My reflection in life consisted of an hour of girl talk... which is really not reflective at all, although I miss those late night talks dearly. Anyways, lately, my mind has been spinning, questioning, and thinking about how I choose to live my life. These past few months have been more monumental than I think I realized. I deal with change relatively well. I usually just slip right into, becoming busy with something else. College was an easy transition, as I knew what to expect everyday and I was given amazing friends to share my days with. With this new post college, newly married, transition, I have definitely reflected more than ever before in life. What are my goals? Where do I find my worth? What's really important? Who am I? What's in store for my future? Not having the answers to any of these questions is well.. scary. My whole life, I have had security. I knew that the following morning I would wake up and go to school. My job in life was to be a friend, a student, a daughter, a girlfriend, etc. These seemed like doable jobs for me, and it came easy. I found my worth in my friendships and relationships. I knew that I wanted to be a teacher and I was proud that I was headed in that direction. Although I may have had difficult days I knew my future, or what I thought my future should look like.
Now I have graduated from college, gotten married, and no longer live with 6 friends. I don't come home to a house full of friends to where I have no time alone. Now I come home to an apartment, having no homework or assignments to keep my mind busy. What a weird concept... coming home and having absolutely nothing I HAVE to do. Although for many years I dreaded that feeling of school over my head, it gave me guidance, something to distract me from thinking about who I was. My life has been busy forever. Something has always been in my extra curricular that has prevented me from really truly thinking...
So I am now in a place of life where my future is not planned. I have a job, substituting, but that is not as secure as my former life schedule. I have a wonderful husband, which is amazing security but I am also no longer surrounded by those friends who are always available to hang out or talk too. So now, I am beginning to realize that God must be my everything. These comforts are amazing, but upon reflecting I realize that they became my "who I was" not blessings from God. I held on to those things as my security and without them I felt unworthy. Those emotions were so foreign to me. Before when I felt unworthy I would hang out with a friend, do well at school, etc. and those temporarily made me feel better about myself... but no longer. No longer can I take earthly things and make them define me. It doesn't matter what my job is, or who I hang out, or how many "to do's" I check off my list. When I look back on my life in twenty, thirty, forty years, will i remember what I accomplished Feb. 1 or April 16. No, not at all, unless I look back on my blue planner which has everything written down... :) SO i guess, lately, I am trying to wrap my mind around the greatness of our Father. Where does my worth come from? Shouldn't I be grateful for what I already have, instead of demanding and needing more? Why do I always find myself desiring what I don't have? These are my thoughts, my questions, that I have been given the opportunity to think upon....

Here goes.....

so, I've had many conversations with two of my best friends, about the funny incidences that occur in my newlywed life... (none of my close friends are married yet) So I get to come over to my friends house and share the wonders and joys :) of marriage. They have often told me, that I should be on a show or blog about my newlywed life. I guess today was the day I decided too! Hopefully this will be a fun and creative way for me to vent, share, and express all my little moments in life. So please enjoy the interesting and entertaining life that I hopefully have!